A message to my beautiful readers -- 1. Training day -- 2. It's flashback time -- 3. Knee-deep in it -- 4. The Reaper -- 5. My glorious backup dream? -- 6. Fuck -- 7. Center of attention -- 8. Celebrity homecoming -- 9. The meaning of irony -- 10. Miss me when I'm gone -- 11. Losers -- 12. Winner -- Epilogue.